The UK Blog Awards

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Hi Guys!

I am honoured to have been nominated for a UK Blog Award 2019. I have been blogging for a few years now and this is the first time my work has been recognised so as you can imagine I am super proud of myself.

Over the years I have wrote about everything and anything. The past few years I have focused a lot on mental health, because that is something I am very passionate about and then the past few months I have ventured into a crime sector which I am loving. 

If you would like to vote for me, I would really appreciate it, you can vote here: https://blogawardsuk.co.uk/dk_vote_post_entries/zoe-smith/

I am so grateful to have been nominated and I can’t wait to continue my blogging journey.

zoelouisesmithx

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Mental Health Monday’s #4

Mental Health Monday's #4

Hey guys!

Today is the 4th part of my Mental Health Monday’s series, this was wrote by someone I have known for many years, she is one of the strongest people I know and I am honoured she has allowed me to share her journey with me and my readers. I think it is important to note that everything I post in this series is completely unedited, unchanged and raw from the person who has shared it with me.

“At 19 I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression. By this point I was already a mother. My earliest memory of feeling “not right” was when I was around 8, I would sit in class crying, sobbing my heart out, convinced my family were at home dying in a house fire. This was daily, I was riddled with nerves and anxiety. I struggled with school and very often I would fake illness so that I didn’t have to go, not to rebel but just because of the anxiety. Gradually it all got worse and a troubled childhood didn’t help, I witnessed alot of things I shouldn’t have and felt so very alone all the time. By the time I was 14 I was suicidal and took an overdose, I would try to drown my self daily in the bath in hopes I would not have to face this daily war in my head any longer. Unfortunately even though my mom was obviously aware of my suicide attempt and the anxiety I had suffered with over the years.. I was never seen by a doctor. I rebelled and drank my way though the next couple of years. At 16 I met my partner and his beautiful daughter who completely and utterly saved my life. 2 and a half years later she passed away, 9 months before her passing our daughter was born. Once again I was depressed. Lost in the confusion of the love for my daughter but the grief for my step daughter. I plucked up the courage and took myself to the doctors, within minutes I had tears streaming down my face, as though the decade of pain was pouring out of me through words. Straight away the answer of course was medication. It had to work surely? Wrong. It didn’t. Not for me anyway. Since then I have gone on to have another child. My baby boy. Daily I still struggle with the constant battle in my head. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to shower or brush my teeth. But I do. Because now I have reason, purpose. I have completed my level 2 training in counselling and have studied my mind thoroughly, I know myself. My triggers. 
Mental health is a bastard, it’s cruel and selfish. I’m a pure heart with a sad brain and It doesn’t get much more confusing than that.. now that I’m a mom I recognise the importance of recognising a struggle in every single person. Not just adults.. kids are just as important.. If not more. I wish I would of received help as soon as I first started showing signs, but I didn’t.. I’m very nearly 23 and even now life is a constant struggle. But I have reason to fight and I will always always win. And believe it or not, i am so in love with my life and happier than I ever thought possible. I am proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel.”

If you wish to take part in my new Mental Health Monday’s series by contributing your journey or an inspiring piece like I have shared today then do not hesitate to email me, even if you are not the best writer in the world but still want to be involved then please do email me and we can still work something else: zoesmith-x@hotmail.co.uk.

Thank you for reading!

zoelouisesmithx

Mental Health Monday’s #3

Mental Health Monday's #3

Hey guys!

Today is part 3 of my Mental Health Monday’s. Again, I feel inspired and grateful that people have shared their journey with me and are willing to allow me to share these posts. I think it is important to note that everything I post in this series is completely unedited, unchanged and raw from the person who has shared it with me.

“One day you wake up and it hits you all in one, like a slap in the face. It’s overwhelming, this powerful feeling of pain and hurt. The extreme feeling of numbness, like nothing matters anymore, not the way you look, not the you feel, not the way others treat you or the way you treat others. It simply doesn’t matter. You ask yourself, ‘What is life? What is the point?’ You’re born to feel nothing but hurt, to just die in the end anyway. And that is the thought that is drilled into your mind. It might be right, it might be wrong, but what I do know is that it doesn’t feel good. I woke up one morning, and as soon as my eyes opened tears streamed down my face. I stared up at the ceiling wishing that I didn’t have to live for another day in what felt like hell. My first thought wasn’t ‘what shall I have for breakfast?’ Or ‘what shall I wear today?’ It was more like ‘how can I end it all?’ ‘How do I find a way out?’ ‘How do I numb the pain?’ I got up and left the house as soon as I could. The sun was beaming down on a pretty autumn day. The scenery of this season gave me a sense of comfort, but not enough to give me hope to hold on. I was a miserable teenager, negative thoughts suffocated me whilst my mind wanted to battle on a daily basis. I was exhausted, I just wanted peace, and I couldn’t find it here. I desperately wanted to leave this life behind. I had hit rock bottom, so why did I feel so relieved? Once you hit the bottom the only way is up. I didn’t realise it then, but that’s where the glimpse of relief came from; I knew it couldn’t get any worse. As I stumbled along, thinking of what to do, I decided that this is the day I wanted to leave this earth, it’s as simple as that. I know that seems extreme but that’s honestly how I felt. I looked around at other people, someone walking their dog, someone strolling along laughing and joking with their children, someone driving their car with the radio on, singing along happily. Then there was me, sad, hurt, lonely and drained from life. Then I realised I had no place in this world. No where to call home, no one to go back to, no one to talk to and no one to rely on. I had made up my mind, and strangely it made me smile which felt like the first time in forever. I finally felt like I was going to leave this hell; I didn’t have to face this battle anymore. I felt like I was finally going to find peace and freedom, I couldn’t wait. I held my ten pound note in my hand, the only money I had, and I asked every person outside of the shop to go in for me to get a bottle of vodka. I was sixteen, so I wasn’t legal to drink, but that’s all I wanted at the time. I begged and pleaded with different people, some old, some younger, some male, some female, some black, some white. Part of me just wanted to break down to one of them and cry for help, but I kept it inside. It was 11am on a Saturday morning though, no wonder I was getting stares and looked at as if I was a vulgar creature. But That made me feel even worse, which made me more determined to get the alcohol and drown my sorrows, as most people say. But this wasn’t metaphorical, this was real. I wanted to drown, drown my mind; drink and drink and be away from it all. That’s what I did. Someone got me the vodka eventually, and so I started to sip. Gulp by gulp, I felt better and better. With every swig I took some tablets, I don’t even know what they were or how I got them but I knew it would do some damage and hopefully end my life. I HOPED to die. Hoped. For the first time which felt like forever, I remember feeling happy. I remember smiling. It was almost as if the best thing ever was about to happen to me. I don’t remember much more from that night. It was all a blur. The next day I woke up. In hospital. I was still alive. I was broken. The pain was still there; it was worse. Why was I still here? I was still suicidal. My plan hadn’t worked, and anger filled my veins. I didn’t want to live anymore, do we not have a choice whether to live or die? Why did I have to face this life everyday? It didn’t seem fair. But you know what wasn’t fair, my parents finding out that their daughter had attempted suicide. Imagine if they had to bury me. Imagine my sisters coming to my funeral, imagine hurting the people I love the most. Imagine destroying other people’s lives because I was weak. Imagine their lives now, if I was gone. People do care, there’s always someone that cares. I’m 21 now, I have a beautiful daughter, Someone I wouldn’t have if my ‘plan’ would have worked out. I have my own place, a good job and I’m happy. I’m stable, I’m no longer living in hell. And why is this? I decided to get help. I had counselling, I read books on mental health and strategies of positive thinking, I exercised, I learnt to love myself. I was strong. I am strong. Anyone out there feeling the way that I did, I can promise you now, that feeling is temporary, life does get better. Like I said, once you hit rock bottom… the only way is up.”

If you wish to take part in my new Mental Health Monday’s series by contributing your journey or an inspiring piece like I have shared today then do not hesitate to email me, even if you are not the best writer in the world but still want to be involved then please do email me and we can still work something else: zoesmith-x@hotmail.co.uk.

Thank you for reading!

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CRIME SERIES: Jeffrey Dahmer

CRIME SERIES_ Jeffrey Dahmer

Hey guys!

Today I am writing all about Jeffrey Dahmer and the horrific crimes he committed! I really hope you find this as interesting as I did.

Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer was born on May 21st 1960 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA to Joyce Annette and Lionel Herbert Dahmer, the first of two sons.

There are two stories as to what Dahmer’s upbringing was like. The first is that Dahmer was deprived of attention, his mother refused to breastfeed him as she thought it was exhausting and irritating, she was also greedy for attention and argumentative with her husband and their neighbours. Also, his mother tried to commit suicide from an overdose of pills she had become addicted to and his father was always away from home with his university studies, so consequently neither parent devoted much time to Dahmer. However the other story is that he was doted upon growing up by both his mother and father.

Dahmer has been described as being an ‘energetic and happy child’ until just before his fourth birthday when he became ‘notably subdued’ after undergoing a double hernia surgery. He always said that his early years of family life were full of ‘extreme tension’ between his parents and he observed them constantly arguing with each other. His peers in elementary school said he was quiet and timid and a teacher on his report card described him was a ‘reserved child’ she sensed he ‘felt neglected’. Although Dahmer was reserved he did have a small number of friends.

From a very young age, Dahmer took an interest in animals, his friends later recalled that he initially collected large insects, dragonflies and butterflies and he placed them inside jars. He later started to collect animal carcasses from the roadside, occasionally accompanied by one or more of his friends. He then dismembered the animals either at home or in woodland just behind their family home. His friends said that he dismembered the animals and then stored the parts in jars in the families tool shed, he always said he was curious as to how each animal ‘fitted together’. In one case, Dahmer decapitated the carcass of a dog before nailing the animals body to a tree, he then impaled the skull of the dog upon a stake beside a wooden cross in the woodland behind his house. It is thought that Dahmer’s obsession with dead animals started at the age of four when his father removed animal bones from beneath the family home. According to his dad Lionel Dahmer, his son was ‘oddly thrilled’ by the sounds the bones made and he instantly developed a fixation for playing with and collecting animal bones.

On December 18th 1966, Jeffrey’s younger brother was born, he was allowed to choose a name, he chose David for his younger brother. In 1968, the family relocated to Bath, Ohio. In 1970, over a family meal, Jeffrey asked Lionel what would happen if the bones of the chicken were to be placed in a bleach solution. At this stage, Lionel was concerned by his sons ‘placid and lethargic’ attitude and therefore he was delighted by, what he believed was his sons scientific curiosity. Due to this, he willingly demonstrated to his son how to safely bleach and preserve animal bones. This knowledge of cleansing and preserving bones was used by Dahmer on many of the animal remains that he continued to collect.

During high school, Dahmer was seen as an outcast by his peers, many of his classmates said that they were disturbed by the fact that he drank beer and hard alcohol which he smuggled into school inside the lining of his jacket and concealed in his locker. The drinking occurred before, during and after school. This was first noted when Dahmer was 14 years old. On one occasion, a classmate recalled Dahmer consuming a cup of gin and asked him why he was drinking liquor in class, to which Dahmer casually replied ‘it’s my medicine’. However, Dahmer was observed by staff to be a polite student who was known to be highly intelligent, although one former teacher did recall that Dahmer often had a Styrofoam cup on his desk in class and that he ‘reeked of scotch’ but nobody ever questioned him about it. Classmates remembered that Dahmer would stumble drunk through the local mall, pretending to have seizures in front of strangers. One classmate recalls ‘the performance was fun to watch but more than a little frightening, for we were always a bit wary of him. He was a big guy and we had a bad feeling that if he went off, you didn’t want to be in the way’. He was also known to draw chalk outlines of bodies on the floors in the hallways of his school.

Jeffrey 14 Years Old

Dahmer began to experience same-sex attractions when he reached puberty, this was not something he divulged to his parents. In his early teens, he engaged in a brief relationship with another male, although the pair never had intercourse. Dahmer later admitted that he began sexually fantasising ‘about dominating and controlling a completely submissive male partner’. These fantasies gradually became ‘intertwined with dissection’.

When Dahmer was 16 years old, Dahmer had the idea of raping a particular male jogger that he found attractive whilst he was unconscious. Dahmer concealed himself in bushes on the route he had noted the jogger took, he had a baseball bat in his hands, waiting for him to run by. However, luckily for him, the jogger did not run past on that day. Dahmer claimed he never attempted to implement that plan again, he said this was the first attempt to attack another individual.

In the summer of 1978, just three weeks after graduating, Dahmer, aged only 18 years old, would go on to murder his first victim. On June 18th Dahmer picked up hitchhiker Steven Hicks who was 18 years old. Dahmer lured him to his house saying they could have a drink together. Hicks who had been hitchhiking to a rock concert agreed. According to Dahmer, after a few hours of drinking and listening to music, Hicks ‘wanted to leave’ but Dahmer ‘didn’t want him to’ so he struck Hicks twice from behind with a dumbbell. When Hicks fell unconscious, Dahmer strangled him to death then stripped the clothes from his body before masturbating as he stood above the corpse. The next day, Dahmer dissected Hicks’ body in his crawl space, he later buried the remains in a shallow grave in his backyard. Several weeks later, he unearthed the remains and removed the flesh from the bones. He then dissolved the flesh in acid and flushed the solution down the toilet. He then crushed the bones with a sledgehammer and scattered them in the woodland behind his home.

Steven Hicks

In the August, Dahmer enrolled at Ohio State University, studying business. He stayed for one term where he spent most of his time drinking, he later dropped out after just three months.

In January 1979, Dahmer enlisted in the US Army where he trained as a medical specialist. According to published reports, in Dahmer’s first year of service he was an ‘average or slightly above average’ soldier. Two soldiers claimed to have been raped by Dahmer whilst in the army. One of whom stated in 2010 that whilst stationed in Germany, Dahmer had repeatedly raped him over a 17 month period whilst another soldier believes Dahmer drugged and raped him inside an armoured personnel carrier in 1979.

Dahmer continued to abuse alcohol and his performance deteriorated and in March 1981 he was deemed unsuitable for military service and was discharged from the Army. His superiors did not believe that he had any problems that would be applicable to civilian life, therefore he received an honourable discharge, then on March 24th 1981 he was sent to South Carolina for a debriefing and was given a plane ticket to travel anywhere in the country. Dahmer later said he felt as though he couldn’t return home to face his father so therefore he decided to travel to Miami Beach, Florida, later claiming he was ‘tired of the cold’. Dahmer spent the majority of his money on alcohol and was soon evicted from the motel where he was staying for not paying. He spent most evenings on the beach after working in a sandwich shop all day. He then phoned his father and asked to return to Ohio in the September of 1981.

On his return to Ohio, he initially lived with his father and stepmother and insisted in doing numerous chores around the house whilst he looked for work. However he continued to drink very heavily and only two weeks after returning he was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. After unsuccessfully trying to wean his son off Alcohol, in December 1981 Dahmer’s father sent him to live with his grandmother in Wisconsin, hoping her influence and change of scenery would inspire him to stop drinking alcohol, find a job and live life as an adult. At first, he accompanied his grandmother to church, did chores, actively looked for work and followed most of her house rules, however he still continued to drink and smoke heavily.

Early in 1982, Dahmer found a job as a phlebotomist, he held this job for 10 months before being laid off. Shortly before losing his job he was arrested for indecent exposure. On August 7th 1982 at a park he was observed to expose himself to a crowd of 25 women and children.

In January 1985, Dahmer found a new job working 11pm until 7am, shortly after finding this job he was propositioned by another man whilst in a library. The stranger threw him a note offering to perform fellatio upon him. According to him, he didn’t respond to the note, however the incident is said to have stirred fantasies in his mind of control and dominance that he had developed as a teenager. He then began to regularly visit gay bars, bookstores and gay bathhouses. He also stole a male mannequin from a store, which he used for sexual stimulation before his grandmother discovered it in his closet and demanded he got rid of it. This was the first major step which lead to the things that were to come. I feel as though the note from the stranger was a huge influence on Dahmer, I’m not saying without that he wouldn’t have gone on to do what he did, but that was a huge part, it brought back all of the fantasies he had previously had and set the ball rolling sort of thing.

By late 1985, Dahmer has became a regular visitor to the gay bathhouses which he later described as being ‘relaxing places’ but during his sexual encounters he was frustrated by his partners moving during the act. In a police interview he said ‘I trained myself to view people as objects of pleasure instead of as people’. Following this, starting in June 1986 he started giving sleeping pills to partners and giving them liquor laced with sedatives and then raping their unconscious bodies. This happened approximately 12 times before the bathhouse revoked his membership so he began to use hotel rooms to continue his act.

Dahmer said shortly after his membership was revoked, he read a newspaper report regarding an upcoming funeral of an 18 year old male, he came up with a plan of stealing the freshly buried corpse and taking it home. He said that he attempted to dig the coffin up but the soil was too hard so he abandoned the pan and went home.

In August 1986 Dahmer was arrested for masturbating in front of two 12 year old boys near the Kinnickinnic River. He initially admitted the offence so subsequently was charged with indecent exposure once again. However he quickly changed his story, claiming he had been urinating and was unaware that there were witnesses so the charges were changed to disorderly
conduct and on March 10
th 1987 he was sentenced to one year’s probation with additional instructions to undergo counselling.

On November 20th 1987 Dahmer encountered a 25 year old man called Steven Tuomi at a bar and persuaded him to return to the Ambassador Hotel where Dahmer had rented a room for the evening. According to Dahmer he ha no intention of murdering Steven Tuomi, he instead intended to drug and rape him as he lay unconscious. However the next morning, he woke up to fin Tuomi’s body lying beneath him on the bed, his chest was ‘crushed in’ and he was ‘black and blue’ with bruises. Dahmer also recalled that there was blood seeping from the corner of Tuomi’s mouth and his own fists and one forearm were extensively bruised. Dahmer said he had no memory of killing Tuomi and later informed investigators that he ‘could not believe this had happened’. To dispose of the body, he purchased a large suitcase and transported the body to his grandmothers house via a taxi. When he was putting the bag in the car, the driver asked him ‘what do you got in there, a body?’ To which Dahmer replied ‘Yeah I do.’ It is not known whether the driver took this as a joke or simply didn’t believe him or if any actions were taken at this point. Which I find very strange, this isn’t mentioned in many reports you read, very few reports have this incident recalled, which to me is quite a significant thing to have happened, his first admission. One week later, he severed the head, arms and legs from the torso and filleted the bones from the body before cutting the flesh into small pieces and placing them inside plastic bags. He wrapped the bones inside a sheet and hit them with a sledgehammer into splinters. This whole process took around two hours. He then put the remains in the bin, apart from the severed head. He kept the severed head for two weeks wrapped in a blanket. He then boiled the head in detergent and bleach in an effort to retain the skull, he then used this as stimulus for masturbation. Eventually, when the skull was rendered too brittle by the bleaching process, he pulverised and disposed of it. Within all of the murder charges brought to Dahmer, the murder of Steven Tuomi was not one of them as none of his remains or DNA were ever found.

Steven Tuomi

Following this murder, Dahmer started to actively seek victims, most of whom he had encountered in or close to gay bars and he lured back to his grandmother’s home. He then drugged them and engaged in sexual activity with them. Once the victim’s were unconscious with sleeping pills he killed them by strangulation.

Two months after murdering Steven Tuomi, Dahmer met 14 year old Native American male prostitute James Doxtator. He lured him to his home with an offer of $50 to pose for nude photos. Once home, the pair engaged in sexual activity before Dahmer drugged him and strangled him on the floor of the cellar. Dahmer left the body there for one week before dismembering it the same way he had Tuomi. He placed all of his remains, other than his head, in the bin. He boiled the skull and again retained it before pulverising it.

James Doxtator

On March 24th 1988, Dahmer met 22 year old Richard Guerrero outside a gay bar called The Phoenix. He lured him to his grandmother’s house on the incentive that he would pay $50 to spend the remainder of the night with him. He then drugged Guerrero with sleeping pills and strangled him with a leather strap. He then performed oral sex on the corpse. He dismembered the body within 24 hours of his murder and again disposed of his remains in the trash, again retaining the skull before being pulverised several months later.

Richard Guerrero

On April 23rd 1988, Dahmer lured another young man to his house, he gave the victim drugged coffee, however Dahmer’s grandmother called ‘Is that you Jeff?’ which, ultimately ended up saving his life. Although Dahmer replied in a manner that led her to believe he was alone, she knew that he wasn’t. Because of this, Dahmer opted to not kill this victim and instead waited until he had became unconscious before taking him to the hospital.

In September 1988, Dahmer’s grandmother asked him to move out of her house because she didn’t like him bringing young men to her house late at night ad there was a foul smell from the basement and the garage which she knew was down to him. Dahmer found a one bedroom apartment where he moved into on September 15th. On the following day, Dahmer was arrested for drugging and sexually fondling a 13 year old boy of whom he had lured back to his home on the pretext of posing nude for photographs.

In January 1989, Dahmer was convicted of second degree sexual assault and of enticing a child for immoral purposes. Sentencing was suspended until May 1989. In March, Dahmer moved back into his grandmother’s home.

Two months after his conviction and two months prior to his sentencing, whilst on ‘bail’ Dahmer murdered his fifth victim. Which I find so so strange. Why would someone who is being convicted of sexual assault free to roam the streets as normal for multiple months before being sentenced? Surely he should have been kept in prison until the sentencing was given? It is extremely upsetting to me that he continued his murder spree whilst the police and courts allowed him out after being convicted of such a serious crime. I believe the courts and police could have done so much more to stop him earlier.

His fifth victim was a 24 year old aspiring model Anthony Sears, who Dahmer met at a gay bar on March 25th 1989. According to Dahmer, he was not looking to commit a crime on this evening, however shortly before closing time that evening, Sears ‘just started talking to me’. Dahmer lured him to his grandmother’s house where they engaged in oral sex before Dahmer drugged and strangled him. The following morning, Dahmer placed his body in his grandmother’s bathtub where he decapitated him before he stripped the flesh from the body and pulverised the bones, where again he disposed of in the bin. According to Dahmer, he found Sears ‘exceptionally attractive’ and Sears was the first victim he permanently retained any body parts. He preserved his head and genitalia in acetone and store them in his work locker. When he moved to a new address he took the remains there.

Anthony Sears

On May 23rd 1989, Dahmer was sentenced to five years probation and one year in the ‘House of Correction’ with work release permitted in order for him to keep his job. He was also required to register as a sex offender. Two months before his scheduled release from the work camp, Dahmer was paroled from this regime. His five years probation began at this point. He temporarily moved back to his grandmother’s house before on May 14th 1990 he moved into his own apartment, taking Anthony Sear’ skull, scalp and painted genitals with him.

Within one week of moving into his new apartment, Dahmer killed his sixth victim. Raymond Smith was a 32 year old male prostitute whom Dahmer lured to his apartment with the promise of $50 for sex. At Dahmer’s apartment, he gave Smith a drink laced with seven sleeping pills and manually strangled him. The following day, Dahmer purchased a Polaroid camera which he took several pictures of Smith’s body in suggestive positions before dismembering him in the bathroom. He boiled the legs, arms and pelvis in a steel kettle which allowed hi to then rinse the bones in the sink. He dissolved the remainder of his skeleton, other than the skull, in a container he filled with acid. He spray painted his skull a placed it alongside the skull of Anthony Sears. It is also thought that he placed other bones from his body around his apartment as ornaments.

Raymond Smith

Around one week later, approximately May 27th, Dahmer lured another man to his apartment. However, on this occasion Dahmer accidentally consumed the drink with sedatives intended for his guest. When he woke up the following day, he discovered that the intended victim had stolen clothing, $300 and a watch. Dahmer never reported the incident to the police, however on May 29th he told his probation officer he had been robbed.

In June 1990, Dahmer lured a 27 year old acquaintance named Edward Smith to his apartment where he drugged and strangled him. This time, instead of immediately acidifying the skeleton or repeating the previous processes of bleaching, Dahmer placed Smith’s skeleton in his freezer for several months hoping it would not retain moisture. Freezing the skeleton didn’t remove moisture so he acidified the body several months later. Dahmer accidentally destroyed the skull when he placed it in the oven to dry which caused the skull to explode. Dahmer said to police that he felt ‘rotten’ about Smith’s murder as he had been unable to retain any parts of his body. Dahmer later said to police ‘it was my way of remembering their appearance, their physical beauty. I also wanted to keep… if I couldn’t keep them there with me whole, I at least could keep their skeletons’ about his motivations for photographing his victims and retaining sections of their skeletal structure.

Edward Smith

In September 1990, less than three months later, Dahmer met 22 year old Ernest Miller. Miller agreed to accompany Dahmer to his apartment for $50 to allow him to listen to his heart and stomach. When Dahmer attempted to perform oral sex on Miller, he was informed ‘it will cost you extra’. Dahmer intended to give him sleeping pills, however he ended up killing Miller by slashing his neck, he then bled to death within minutes. Dahmer then posed the nude body for various photographs before placing him in the bathtub for dismemberment. Dahmer repeatedly kissed and talked to the severed head while he dismembered the remainder of the body. He wrapped Miller’s heart, biceps and portions of his leg flesh in plastic bags in the fridge for later consumption. The severed head was initially placed in the refrigerator before also being stripped of flesh then he painted it and coated it with enamel.

Ernest Miller

On September 24th, three weeks later, Dahmer encountered David Thomas a 22 year old at a mall and persuaded him to return to his apartment for a few drinks with additional money on off if he would pose for photographs. When arrested, in his statement Dahmer stated that he did not feel attracted to him after giving him a drink with sedatives, but he was afraid if he woke up he would be angry over being drugged, so therefore he strangled him and dismembered him, retaining no body parts. However he did photograph the dismemberment process and retained these photographs which later helped identify David Thomas’ body.

David Thomas

Following the murder of David Thomas, Dahmer didn’t kill anyone for almost five months, although he claims on a minimum of five occasions between October 1990 and February 1991 he unsuccessfully attempted to lure men to his apartment. He also regularly complained of feeling both anxious and depressed to his probation officer during 1990 with frequent references to his sexuality, lifestyle and financial difficulties. He also referred to suicidal thoughts on several occasions.

In February 1991 Dahmer observed 17 year old Curtis Straughter standing at a bus stop near a university. According to Dahmer he lured him into his apartment offering him money for posing for nude photographs with the added incentive of sexual intercourse. Dahmer drugged and strangled him with a leather strap and then dismembered him, he retained his skull, hands and genitals and photographed each stage of the dismemberment process.

Curtis Straughter

On April 7th, less than two months later, Dahmer encountered 19 year old Errol Lindsey walking to get a key cut. Dahmer lured him to his apartment where he drugged him, drilled a hole in his skull and poured acid into it. According to Dahmer, he woke up after the experiment, which Dahmer though would induce a permanent, unresistant, submissive state, saying ‘I have a headache. What time is it?’ In response to this, Dahmer drugged him again then strangled him. He decapitated him and retained his skull then removed the flesh from his body placing the skin in a solution of cold water and salt for several weeks in the hope he could retain it, however Dahmer reluctantly disposed of it when he noted it had become too frayed and brittle.

Errol Lindsey

By 1991, residents in the apartment block in which Dahmer lived repeatedly complained to the manager Sopa Princewill of the foul smell coming from Dahmer’s apartment in addition to the sounds of falling objects and the occasional sound of a chainsaw. Princewill contacted Dahmer who said the odours were caused by his freezer breaking and the contents becoming ‘spoiled’, on other occasions he said the small was because several of his tropical fish had recently died and he would take care of the matter.

On May 24th 1991 Dahmer invited 31 year old Anthony Hughes to his apartment, he was a deaf mute, so Dahmer invited him with a written request asking him to pose nude. Once in the apartment, Dahmer drugged him and strangled him. He left the body lying around the apartment for a couple of days before dismembering him.

On May 26th 1991 Dahmer seen Konerak Sinthasomphone, he approached him with an offer of money to accompany him to his apartment to pose for Polaroid pictures. According to Dahmer Sinthasomphone – the younger brother of the boy whom he had molested in 1988 – was initially reluctant to the proposal before changing his mind and accompanying Dahmer to his apartment where the youth posed for two pictures in his underwear before Dahmer drugged him into unconsciousness and performed oral sex on him. Dahmer drilled a single hole into his skull and injected acid into him. Before Sinthasomphone fell unconscious Dahmer took him into his bedroom where the nude body of Anthony Hughes was laying on the floor. Dahmer later said he believed he saw the body but did not react due to the sleeping pills he had been given. Sinthasomphone soon became unconscious, Dahmer drank several beers before leaving his apartment to drink at a bar.

In the early hours of May 27th, Dahmer returned towards his apartment to discover Sinthasomphone sitting naked on the corner of the street talking with three distressed young women. Dahmer approached them and explained that Sinthasomphone was a friend and attempted to lead him to his apartment, however the three women dissuaded Dahmer explaining they had rang 911. Two officers named John Balcerzak and Joseph Gabrish arrived on the scene and here Dahmer informed them Sinthasomphone was his 19 year old boyfriend and he had drank too much after an argument and he regularly behaved this way when he was intoxicated. The three women tried to indicate to the officers that he was bleeding from his buttox and that he struggled against Dahmer’s attempt to walk him to his apartment to which the officers harshly informed them to ‘butt out’ and ‘shut the hell up’ an not to interfere as the incident was ‘domestic’.

Against the protests of the three women, the officers covered Sinthasomphone with a towel and walked him to Dahmer’s apartment. To verify his claim that they were lovers, Dahmer showed the officers semi-nude pictures he had taken the night before. The officers later reported that there was a strange scent of excrement inside the apartment, the odour was from the decomposing body of Hughes. Dahmer later said that one officer ‘peeked his head around the bedroom but didn’t really take a good look’ then they left, telling Dahmer to ‘take good care’ of Sinthasomphone. I find this so so upsetting. If the officers had firstly listened to the women and secondly looked properly in the bedroom this whole thing could have been stopped way before it eventually was. The officers were rude to the women and the women had been right the whole time, they seem very incompetent of actually looking and seeing properly what was really going on. They also did no background check on Dahmer, if they had it would have revealed he was a convicted child molester under probation and could have done something about it.

Once the officers had left, Dahmer again injected acid into Sinthasomphone’s brain, this occasion proved fatal. The following day May 28th, Dahmer took a day’s leave to dismember both bodies of Sinthasomphone and Hughes. He again, retained both skulls.

Konerak Sinthasomphone

On June 30th, Dahmer travelled to Chicago and he met 20 year old Matt Turner at a bus station. Turner accepted Dahmer’s offer to travel to Milwaukee for a professional photo shoot. Back at Dahmer’s apartment he drugged, strangled and dismembered Turner. He then placed his head and internal organs in plastic bags in the freezer.

Matt Turner

On July 5th Dahmer lured 23 year old Jeremiah Weinberger back to his apartment on the promise of spending the weekend with him. He drugged him and injected boiling water through his skull which sent him into a coma from which he died two days later.

Jeremiah Weinberger

On July 15th Dahmer met Oliver Lacy, he agreed to pose nude for photographs and accompanied Dahmer back to his apartment where they engaged in sexual activity before Dahmer drugged him. Dahmer intended to prolong the time he spent with Lacy whilst alive, so after he requested a day’s absence from his workplace. He later strangled Lacy and had sex with the corpse before dismembering him. He placed his head and heart in the refridgerator and his skeleton in the freezer.

Oliver Lacy

On July 19th Dahmer was told he was fired from his job, upon receipt of this news, Dahmer lured 25 year old Joseph Bradehoft to his apartment. He strangled him and left him lying on his bed covered with a sheet for two days. On July 21st Dahmer removed the sheets to find the head covered in maggots, he decapitate the body, cleaned the head and placed it in the refridgerator. He later acidified three victims from that month.

Joseph Bradhoft

On July 22nd 1991, Dahmer approached three men and offered them $100 to post for nude photographs, drink beer and keep him company at his apartment. One of them, 32 year old Tracy Edwards accepted. Upon entering the apartment, Edwards noted a foul smell and several boxes of hydrochloric acid on the floor, Dahmer claimed to use it for cleaning bricks. Dahmer placed a handcuff upon his wrist, but unsuccessfully attempted to cuff his wrists together, he then told Edwards to accompany him to the bedroom to pose for the nude photographs. Edwards noted that there were nude male posters on the way and The Exorcist videotape was playing. Dahmer then took out a knife and informed Edwards he intended to take nude pictures of him. To appease Dahmer, Edwards unbuttoned his shirt and said he would if he removed the handcuffs and put the knife away. Edwards observed Dahmer rocking back and forth watching the TV and chanting before turning his attention back to him. He placed his head on Edwards’ chest and listened to his heartbeat. With the knife pressed against him, he informed Edwards he intended to eat his heart. Edwards repeated that he was Dahmer’s friend and he wasn’t going to run away in an attempt to prevent Dahmer from attacking him, although he had decided he was going to either jump from a window or run through the unlocked door when he had the opportunity. Edwards asked if they could sit with a beer in the living room where there was air conditioning, to which Dahmer consented. Edwards waited until Dahmer had a lapse of concentration before requesting to use the bathroom, when he rose from the couch he noted Dahmer was not holding the handcuffs, so he punched him in the face knocking him off balance and ran out of the front door.

Tracy Edwards

At 11:30pm on July 22nd, Edwards flagged down two police officers. The officers noticed that Edwards had a handcuff attached to his wrist, Edwards explained that a ‘freak’ had put the handcuffs on him an asked if they could remove them. The officers’ keys failed to fit the handcuffs, so Edwards agreed to accompany the officers to the apartment where he had stated he had spent the last five hours before escaping. When they arrived at Dahmer’s apartment he invited them in and acknowledged he had indeed placed the handcuffs onto Edwards’ wrist, however he offered no explanation as to why. Edwards then told the officers that Dahmer had also threatened him with a knife and it had happened in the bedroom, Dahmer made no comment to this and told the officer, Rolf Mueller, that the key was on his bedside dresser in the bedroom. Dahmer attempted to pass Mueller to retrieve the key himself, however the second officer Robert Rauth informed him to ‘back off’.

In the bedroom Rolf Mueller noted that there was a large knife under the bed and in an open draw there were Polaroid pictures, many of which were of human bodies in various states of dismemberment. He also noted that the decor in the photos was the same a the apartment he was standing in. When Dahmer saw he was holding the Polaroids, he fought the officers in an attempt to resist arrest, however the officers quickly overpowered him, cuffed his hands behind his back and called a second car for backup. At this point Mueller opened the refrigerator to find the freshly severed head of a black male on the bottom shelf. As Dahmer lay pinned on the floor beneath Robert Rauth he turned his head towards the officers and said ‘for what I did I should be dead’.

In a more detailed search of the apartment conducted by the ‘Criminal Investigation Bureau’ they unearthed a lot of horrible things. A total of seven skulls – some painted, some bleached – were found in Dahmer’s bedroom and inside a closet. They also a collection of blood drippings in a tray at the bottom of the refrigerator plus two human hearts and a portion of arm muscle. In the freezer they found an entire torso plus a bag of human organs and flesh stuck to the ice at the bottom. Investigators also discovered two entire skeletons, a pair of severed hands, two severed and preserved penises, a mummified scalp and in a 57 gallon drum, three further dismembered torsos dissolving in the acid solution. A total of 74 Polaroid pictures detailing the dismemberment of Dahmer’s victims were found. The chief medical examiner later stated ‘it was more like dismantling someone’s museum than an actual crime scene’.

Jeffrey_Dahmer_1992 Mugshot

In the early hours of July 23rd 1991, Dahmer was questioned by Detective Patrick Kennedy as to the murders he had committed and the evidence that had been found in his apartment. Over the following two weeks, Kennedy and later Detective Patrick Murphy conducted numerous interviews with Dahmer, which combined totalled over 60 hours. Dahmer waived his right to have a lawyer present, adding he wished to confess all as he had ‘created this horror and it only makes sense I do everything to put an end to it’. He admitted to murdering 16 young men since 1987 with one further victim killed in Ohio in 1978. He also admitted to performing necrophilia with several of his victims’ bodies, including performing sexual acts with their bodies as he dismembered them in the bathtub. He also confessed to having consumed the hearts, livers, biceps and portions of thighs of several victims he had killed.

When describing the increase in his killing rate in the few months before his arrest he stated he had been ‘completely swept along’ with his compulsion to kill. When he was asked why he had preserved seven skulls an entire skeletons of two victims, he stated he had been in the process of constructing a private altar of victims’ skulls which he had intended to put on the black table in his living room where he had photographed many of the bodies of his victims. On November 18th 1991 in a police interview, when asked who the altar was dedicated to Dahmer gave a very in depth description of what he was going to design and said ‘myself, it was a place where I could feel at home’ and described it as a ‘place for meditation’. He also added ‘if this arrest had happened six months later, that’s what they would have found’.

On July 25th 1991, Dahmer was charged with four counts of murder. By August 22nd 1991 he was charged with a further 11 murders. On September 14th 1991, investigators uncovered hundreds of bone fragments in woodland behind the address Dahmer had confessed to killing his first victim. They formally identified two molar teeth and a vertebra with x-ray records of Steven Hicks. Three days later, Dahmer was charged with the murder of Steven Hicks.

Dahmer was not charged with the attempted murder of Tracy Edwards or the murder of Steven Tuomi. He was not charged with Tuomi’s murder as the District Attorney only brought charges where murder could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt and Dahmer had no memory of actually committing this crime and no physical evidence of the crime existed.

On January 13th 1992 Dahmer pleaded guilty but insane to 15 counts of murder.

The trial began on January 30th 1992. He was tried for 15 counts of murder before Judge Laurence Gram. By pleading guilty on January 13th to the charges, Dahmer had waived his rights to an initial trial to establish guilt. The issue debated in the trial were to determine whether he had suffered from either a mental or a personality disorder. The prosecution claimed that ‘any disorder did not deprive Dahmer of the ability to appreciate the criminality of his conduct or to deprive him of the ability to resist his impulses’. The defence argued that Dahmer ‘suffered from a mental disease and was driven by obsessions and impulses he was unable to control’.

Defence experts argued that Dahmer was insane due to his ‘necrophiliac drive’, the urge to have sexual encounters with corpses. The prosecution experts rejected this testifying that he was ‘without mental disease or defect’ at the time he committed the murders. They described Dahmer as a ‘calculating and cunning individual, able to differentiate between right and wrong, with the ability to control his actions’.

The trial lasted two weeks and on February 14th, both counsels delivered their closing statements to the jury. Each counsel was allowed to speak for two hours. Then just one day later, on February 15th the court reconvened to hear the verdict.

Dahmer was ruled to be sane and not suffering from a mental disorder at the time of each of the 15 murders for which he was tried. Dahmer was sentenced to life imprisonment plus ten years with a remaining 13 counts carrying a mandatory sentence of life imprisonment plus 70 years. The death penalty was not an option as in the State of Wisconsin the death penalty was abolished.

Three months later Dahmer was extradited to Ohio to be tried for the murder of Steven Hicks. In a court hearing lasting only 5 minutes, Dahmer pleaded guilty and was sentenced to a 16th term of life imprisonment on May 1st 1992.

1992

For the first year of his sentence, Dahmer was placed in solitary confinement due to the concerns for his physical safety if he came into contact with other inmates.

Whilst in prison Dahmer became a ‘born again Christian’ and in May 1994 he was baptised in the prison whirlpool.

In July 1994 a fellow inmate Osvaldo Durruthy attempted to slash Dahmer’s throat with a razor embedded in a toothbrush as Dahmer returned to his cell. Dahmer suffered superficial wounds but was not serious hurt. According to Dahmer’s family, he was ready to die. He responded with comments to his mother expressing concerns for his well-being with comments such as ‘it doesn’t matter mom, I don’t care if something happens to me’.

On November 28th 1994 Dahmer left his cell to conduct his assigned work. He was accompanied by two fellow inmates Jesse Anderson and Christopher Scarver. The trio were left unsupervised in the showers of the prison gym for approximately 20 minutes and at approximately 8:10am Dahmer was discovered on the floor suffering from extreme head and facial wounds. He had been severely hit with a 20 inch metal bar. His head had also been repeatedly struck against the wall. Although he was still alive, he was rushed to a nearby hospital and was pronounced dead one hour later. Anderson also died two days later. Christopher Scarver admitted he had killed them both, he said Dahmer did not yell or make any noise when he was attacked. Scarver alleges that before murdering Dahmer he cornered him and presented him a newspaper article detailing Dahmer’s crimes and demanded that Dahmer answered whether it was true. He also said that he was revolted by Dahmer’s crimes and that he had openly been unrepentant for his crimes. He also stated that Dahmer was so disliked by his fellow inmates that he required a personal escort whenever he was out of his cell to prevent inmates attacking him and he believes the prison staff knew Scarver’s hatred for him so deliberately left them unsupervised so that he could kill him.

Jeffrey Dahmer’s dad has retired and is living with his second wife Shari, they have both refused to change their surname and have professed their love of Jeffrey despite his crimes. His younger brother David has changed his surname and lives in anonymity.

Overall I find this case so disturbing and upsetting. I think Jeffrey could have been caught a lot sooner if the police had done their job. I also find it very strange that his grandmother could smell something in her own home but never went to actually going on. To me if that was my house and my grandson was making it smell I would want to know what he was doing and go and look. I also find it very strange that the victims were so willing to just go with him, I feel like there was more to it than just him offering money or whatever. I think it was obvious from a very young age that Jeffrey wasn’t quite right, the fact that he was so interested in killing animals was a sign of that, I think his dad was oblivious even when he asked him to show him how to dispose of the chicken bones. I just think overall there were so many signs that something was wrong but nobody seemed to pick up on it. Also why were the people who were killed not reported as missing and police were not actively looking for them, surely someone would have reported them missing and the police could have linked them together? I think the fact that he was arrested and charged for a sexual assault but was still allowed to live life as normal and continue killing is also so disturbing and just wrong when it could have been stopped by keeping him in prison until his sentencing. I also find it disgusting how they tried to fight in court for a mental illness when clearly this was just a vile man with an obsession of killing and having sex with corpses. And the fact he kept parts of the bodies and wanted to create an altar in his home just freaks me out. Personally I think he was let off too easily, he wanted to die and by being killed in prison he was given that, I would have much preferred him to be alive and suffering knowing that is what he didn’t want.

What do you think? Let me know!

zoelouisesmithx

Mental Health Monday’s #2

Mental Health Monday's #2

Hey guys!

Today is part 2 of my Mental Health Monday’s. This was written by somebody who reached out on Twitter to share her journey and show others that anything is possible – a message I am so keen to share. I got emotional reading this post, I hope it inspires people to understand  after going through a rough time you can still succeed and make something of your life. I think it is important to note that everything I post in this series is completely unedited, unchanged and raw from the person who has shared it with me.

“The Years After A Suicide Attempt

Four years ago, I made the choice to end my own life. I remember the night vividly, I just wanted an escape from the pain and the grief that I was in.

My attempt came around a month after my fathers funeral, he had died by suicide and it didn’t hit me until that very night. I was just hit with this realisation that he was gone and I would never see him again, or kiss his cheek, like I did every day.

I had lost my reason for living and life just felt like a dead end. There was nothing worth holding on for.

It’s been four whole years, almost five now, since I lay in that hospital bed not sure as to if I would live or die. Or what outcome I really wanted. The whole thing felt like a blur and yet I can remember it like it was yesterday.

It wasn’t easy adjusting to life after my attempt. I was ashamed of what people would think of me, worried that I had wasted money from the NHS. I was angry that I was kept alive and yet my father’s life had been reaped so easily. So many emotions just swirled in for my head. For the first week, I couldn’t move, my best friend even describes it as ‘my deathbed’.

In April this year, I hosted a charity event to raise awareness of suicide and to raise money for my local Mind, which I believe has now been invested in a local crisis hub. I listened to stories of people I cared for and spoke to those who needed my event just as much as I did.

And when my best friend spoke (who had my permission), spoke about how it felt to see me post-suicide attempt, I realised how much had changed for me. At that moment, I knew that I had found that light that people always promised but never seemed to show.

In just four short years, I’ve gone from a place where I could not breathe or feel. I was a shell in a world that would not let me pause. To a person who I feel like 18 years old I could be so proud of. I’ve achieved and done things that I simply didn’t believe I deserved, let alone would happen.

I wrote and self-published a book that led me into mental health advocacy. I have made this tiny little community on Twitter and created this blog that doesn’t just help others, but it helps me. I’ve even found myself a husband, a dog and a home that gives me a safe space to thrive. I even plan to start University next September. Life has become possible.

I don’t know how I achieved these things, I can’t give you a list on how to make you life flip and become different. I can’t tell you how to dig out of that darkness and find a new path.

But I can tell you this, if I had died that night, I would have passed thinking that I would never amount to anything or be deserving of a life other than the one I had. What has given me resilience, hope and a chance to be who I want to be, is literally just the fact that I’ve done my best each day – even if it’s simply waking up.

There is so much pressure after a suicide attempt to ‘get better’ and ‘carry on’ with your life, from both yourself and those around you. But what I have learned is that this is only limiting. You need to recover in your own time and way, you need to follow your instincts into recovery. And you want to know something? I was holding that light the whole time, I realised that I could turn it on.”

Thank you for reading.

If you wish to take part in my new Mental Health Monday’s series by contributing your journey or an inspiring piece like I have shared today then do not hesitate to email me, even if you are not the best writer in the world but still want to be involved then please do email me and we can still work something else: zoesmith-x@hotmail.co.uk.

 

zoelouisesmithx

CRIME SERIES: The Moors Murders

CRIME SERIES_ The Moors Murders

Hey guys!

Welcome to the next piece in my Crime Series. I hope you find this as interesting as I did! I’ll just jump straight into it…

Ian Brady was born in Glasgow as Ian Duncan Stewart on January 2nd 1938. Myra Hindley was born in Crumpsall on July 23rd 1942 and raised in a working class area of Manchester. In January 1961, 18 year old Myra Hindley became infatuated by Ian Brady after joining Millwards as a typist/secretary, where Brady worked in a clerical position. She began writing a diary where she detailed her fascination with Ian Brady, who she finally spoke to for the first time 6 months later on July 27th 1961. Over the months after speaking to him she continued to make diary entries however she grew increasingly disillusioned with him until December 22nd 1961 when Ian Brady asked her on a date to the cinema. Their dates following that were always a similar pattern of going to the cinema to watch an x-rated movie and then back to Myra’s house to drink German wine. Brady then began to give Hindley reading material and they then spent their work lunch breaks reading to each other from accounts of Nazi atrocities.

Ian Brady 2  Myra Hindley 2

Myra Hindley did start to express some concern at certain aspects of Brady’s character. In a letter to a childhood friend she told her about an incident where he had drugged her but she also spoke about her obsession with him. Not long after writing the letter she asked her friend to destroy the letter. Hindley also started to change her appearance at this point, bleaching her hair blonde and applying thick crimson lipstick, trying to emulate ‘Aryan perfection’. She also started to wear clothes considered risqué such as high boots, short skirts and leather jackets.

The pair began to distance themselves and become less sociable with their colleagues. Instead they regularly went to the library borrowing books on philosophy as well as crime and torture. Hindley often hired a van as the pair had planned bank robberies, these plans came to nothing. Hindley also visited two local shooting ranges and asked to join a pistol club but as she had a poor shot and allegedly a bad temper she was told she was unsuitable, although she did manage to purchase multiple guns in this time. Strangely their minds began to wonder from crime and robberies and they started to become interested in photography. Brady often took photographs of Hindley and her dog, he then upgraded his equipment, even purchasing lights and darkroom equipment. The pair took photographs of each other than would have been considered as explicit at the time. For this to happen it was strange as it was a complete contrast to the more shy and prudish nature Hindley used to show.

Hindley claimed that in July 1963 Brady began to talk about ‘committing the perfect murder’ inspired by a novel called ‘Compulsion’ written by Meyer Levin and later adapted for the cinema about two young men who attempt to commit the perfect murder of a 12 year old boy and escape the death penalty because of their age. By this time Brady had moved in with Hindley at her Grand Mother’s house.

On July 12th 1963 the two murdered their first victim. It was 16 year old Pauline Reade. Pauline disappeared on her way to a dance at the British Railways Club. Brady had told Hindley that this was the night he was going to ‘commit his perfect murder’. He told Hindley to drive around in the van she had hired and he would follow behind on his motorcycle and when he spotted a likely victim he would flash his headlight and Hindley had to stop and offer that person a lift. It is unclear how true all of these fast are as both Brady and Hindley provided different accounts of the murder when interviewed.

Driving down Gorton Lane, Brady saw a girl walking towards them and flashed his headlight, signalling Hindley to stop, however she did not stop until she had passed the girl which caused Brady to stop next to the van and demand to know why she had not stopped when he told her to, Hindley told him that she knew the girl as Marie Ruck and she was a neighbour of her mother. So they continued and shortly after 8pm, Brady spotted a girl wearing a pale blue coat and white high heeled shoes and she was walking away from them, he signalled Hindley to stop. Hindley recognised the girl, she has attended school with Myra Hindley’s younger sister so was known to her. Reade got into the van, Hindley then asked her if she would mind helping to search for an expensive glove she had lost on Saddleworth Moor. Reade told her she was in no hurry so she would help her.

Hindley believed that as Reade was 16 years old, older than Marie Ruck, there would be less of an outcry over her disappearance rather than a child of seven or eight.

When the van reached Saddleworth Moor, Hindley stopped and Brady arrived shortly afterwards. Hindley introduced Brady as her boyfriend and said he had also came to help them search for the expensive glove.

This is where things get confusing due to the different stories from the pair. Hindley claimed that Brady took Reade onto the moor whilst she waited in the van and after 30 minutes Brady returned alone and took Hindley to the spot where Reade was lay dying. Her throat had been cut twice with a large knife, the larger of the wounds was a four inch incision across her voice box, it was cut with such force that her spinal cord was severed and the collar of Reade’s coat had been deliberately pushed into the wound. He told her to stay with Reade whilst he fetched a spade he had hidden nearby on a previous visit to the moor to bury the body. Hindley said she noticed that ‘Pauline’s coat was undone and her clothes were in disarray … She had guessed from the time he had taken that Brady had sexually assaulted her.’ However Brady claimed that Hindley was at the scene when Reade was murdered and that she also assisted him with the sexual assault. They then buried her body. They loaded the motorcycle into the back of the van and drove home. When returning home they passed Reade’s mother Joan, who was accompanied by her son Paul who were searching the streets for Pauline.

Pauline’s body was not discovered until 24 years later on July 1st 1987, 250 yards from the main road, just inches below the surface. This was after and intense search after Brady and Hindley were taken back to the moors separately in the 1980’s to help Greater Manchester police in their new search for the bodies.

NINTCHDBPICT000019009339

The next victim was 12 year old John Kilbride, on the evening of November 23rd 1963, Myra Hindley approached John at a market in Ashton-Under-Lyne and offered him a life home, telling him his parents would be worried about him being out so late. With the added inducement of a bottle of sherry, John readily agreed to get into a car that Hindley had hired. Ian Brady was in the car as said that the sherry was at their home and they would need to make a detour to collect it, then on the way he also suggested that they take another detour to search for a glove that Hindley had lost on the moor. When they reached the moor, Brady apparently took him whilst Hindley waited in the car. Brady sexually assaulted him and attempted to slit his throat with a blade, before he fatally strangled him with a piece of string, possibly a shoelace. He was then buried in the moors, like their first victim. Again, it is unclear if these were the correct sequence of events because both Brady and Hindley have told different versions. Was Hindley there on the moors? Did she take part? Or did she really stay in the car? We will probably never know.

John’s body was found in October 1965 when police searched the moors in an investigation against Brady and Hindley.

John Kilbride

The third victim was Keith Bennett, who was twelve years old who disappeared on the way to his grandmother’s house in Longsight, Manchester on the 16th of Junes 1964. Hindley lured him into her Mini Pick Up which Brady was sitting in the back of, by asking him for help loading some boxes, she told him she would drop him home after. She drove to a lay by on the Moor as her and Bray had arranged and Brady went off with Keith Bennett supposedly looking for a lost glove. After 30 minutes, Brady reappeared, alone and carrying a spade they had previously hidden there. When Hindley asked him how he had killed the boy, Brady told her he had sexually assaulted him and strangled him with a piece of string. Again, the true version of events may never be known, as both Hindley and Brady gave different stories.

Keith’s body to this day has never been found, even though the police have kept the case open and regularly search the moors for him. Winnie Johnson, Keith’s mother pleaded with Brady to reveal the details of where he was buried, people believe that Brady holding back the information was his last attempt at maintaining an element of control. Brady died in May 2017 before ever releasing any information, so we may never know where the body is found even though the police have extensively searched the area multiple times with no luck.

Keith Bennett

The next victim was Lesley Ann Downey, who was 10 years old. On December 26th 1964 Brady and Hindley visited a fairground in search of their fourth victim. They spotted Lesley Ann Downey on her own beside a ride, they approached her and deliberately dropped some of their shopping near her, before asking her to help them carry some of the shopping to their car and then to their home. She agreed. Once they arrived at their home, Downey was undressed and gagged. She was then forced to pose for photographs before being raped and killed, possibly with a piece of string. They also recorded her pleading before her death. Saying “don’t undress me will you”, “let me go” and “I want to see mummy”. A 16 minute recording was played in full to a silent courtroom during the pair’s trial. At another point Hindley says “Hush, hush, shut up or I will forget myself and hit you one. I will hit you one.” The another point Lesley is pleading “I want to see my mummy, honest to God. I will swear on the bible… I have got to go because I am going out with my mama.” To which Brady replied “The longer it takes you to do this, the longer it takes you to get home” referring to taking photographs. Brady also said at one point “if you don’t keep that hand down, I will slit your neck.”

Again, the stories between Hindley and Brady are different. Hindley maintained that she left the girl naked in the room after naked photographs were taken by Brady and another man and she went to fill a bath for Lesley and when she returned the girl was dead, Brady had killed her. She said in court that she had put her hands over her ears to cover the noise of Brady’s blows. However Brady stated that it was Hindley who had killed Lesley. The next morning they drove her body to the Moor where she was buried completely naked with her clothes at her feet, again in a shallow grave.

Lesley Ann Downey’s body was found on October 16th 1965 whilst officers were looking for John Kilbride’s body. Officers found an arm bone sticking out of the ground, this was Lesley’s body. Her mother was on the Moor watching police search but was not present when her daughter was found. The body of Lesley Ann Downey was still visually identifiable when it was recovered along with clothing that her mother identified to be her daughter’s.

Lesley-Ann Downey

The final victim, that we know of, was 17 year old Edward Evans. On October 6th 1965, Hindley drove Brady to Manchester Central Railway Station where he chose their next victim. After only a few minutes Brady reappeared with Edward Evan’s an apprentice engineer, he invited him to his home at 16 Wardle Brook Avenue in Cheshire, he introduced Myra as his sister.

Edward Evans

When they arrived at their home they relaxed, drinking a bottle of wine. Later, Brady sent Hindley to fetch her brother-in-law, David Smith. He was married to Hindley’s younger sister Maureen, throughout the years Brady had been cultivating a friendship with Smith who was ‘in awe’ of him. This worried Hindley as she felt it compromised their safety having somebody else so close to them.

When they arrived at the house, Hindley told Smith to wait outside for her signal which would be a flashing light. When the signal came, Smith knocked on the door, Brady opened it and asked Smith if he has came for the ‘miniature wine bottles’. He then led Smith into the kitchen and told him he was going to collect the wine. Only minutes later, Smith heard a scream, followed by Hindley shouting for him to come and help. Smith went into the living room and seen Brady repeatedly striking Evans with the flat of an axe, he then watched him as he throttled him with an electrical cord.

Brady sprained his ankle in the struggle and the body was too heavy for Smith to carry to the car on his own, so instead, they wrapped the body in plastic sheeting and put it in their spare room. Smith agreed to meet Brady the following evening to dispose of the body. However, when he returned home, he told Maureen what he had seen and she insisted that he called the police. Armed with a screwdriver and a knife in case Brady confronted them, they went to a nearby phone box to report what he had seen.

David and Maureen Smith

When asked, Smith told the police the following:

Brady opened the door and he said in a very loud voice for him ‘do you want those miniatures?’ I nodded my head to say yes and he led me into the kitchen and then he gave me three miniature bottles of spirits and said ‘do you want the rest?’ When I first walked into the house, the door to the living room was closed… Ian went into the living room and I waited in the kitchen. I waited about a minute or two then suddenly I heard hell of a scream; it sounded like a woman, really high-pitched. Then the screams carried on one after another, really loud. Then I heard Myra shout, ‘Dave, help him’ very loud. When I ran in I just stood inside the living room and I saw a young lad. He was lying with his head and shoulders on the couch and his legs were on the floor. He was facing upwards. Ian was standing over him, facing him with his legs on either side of the young lad’s legs. The lad was still screaming. Ian had a hatchet in his hand, he was holding it above his head and he hit the lad on the left side of his head with the hatchet. I heard the blow, it was a terrible hard blow, it sounded horrible.”

Early on the morning of October 7th 1965, Superintendent Bob Talbot from Cheshire Police arrived at the back door of 16 Wardle Brook Avenue, he wore a borrowed baker’s overall to cover his uniform. He identified himself as a police officer when Hindley opened the door and told her he needed to speak to her boyfriend. Hindley led him into the living room where Brady was sitting, writing a note to his employer, explaining that he would not be able to go to work because of his ankle injury. Talbot explained that he was investigating ‘an act of violence involving guns’ that had taken place the previous night.

Hindley denied there had been any violence and they allowed the police to look around the house. When they came to the upstairs room where they had put Evans’s body, the door was locked and they asked Brady for the key. Hindley told them the key was at work, however this backfired as the police then offered to drive her to her employer to retrieve it. It was then that Brady told her to hand over the key. They found the body and arrested Brady on suspicion of murder. As he was getting dressed, Brady said ‘Eddie and I had a row and the situation got out of hand’. At this point Hindley was not arrested but she demanded to go to the police station accompanied by her dog, police agreed.

Hindley was question about the death but she refused to make a statement other than claiming it was an accident. At this point, the police had no evidence against her so she was released, on the condition that she returned the next day for more questioning. In the four days following Brady’s arrest, Hindley was a free woman, during this time she went to her employer’s premises and asked to be dismissed so she was eligible for unemployment benefits, she also went to the office where Brady worked, she found papers belonging to Brady in an envelope, which she claimed she did not open, which she burned in an ashtray. She said they were plans for bank robberies, nothing to do with the murders.

Whilst in police questioning, Brady admitted that he and Evans had fought but insisted that he and David Smith had murdered him between them, he also said Hindley ‘only done what she had been told’. When being questioned, Smith told the police that Brady had asked him to return anything incriminating such as ‘dodgy books’ which Brady had packed into suitcases. He said he had no idea what the cases contained or where they could be. He did, however, say that Brady ‘had a thing about railway stations’. Due to this comment, the police then searched all of Manchester’s ‘left luggage’ offices for any cases belonging to Brady.

It wasn’t until October 15th that police found a case at Manchester Central Railway Station, inside the case were nine pornographic photographs taken of a young girl, naked with a scarf tied across her mouth and the 16 minute tape of Lesley Ann Downey. When presented with the evidence of the tape recording of Lesley Ann Downey, Brady admitted he took photographs of her, however he insisted that she had been took to his house by two men who then took her away again, alive. It is important to note that Brady made several copies of the tape, the court heard a 16 minute tape, however other copies may have been longer, this was never confirmed or denied.

Whilst this was happening, on October 11th Hindley was charged as an accessory to the murder of Edward Evans after new evidence had emerged during the investigation which had convinced the police that she was also involved.

Police searched the house at Wardle Brook Avenue and they found an old exercise book with the name ‘John Kilbride’, this was when suspicions grew that Brady and Hindley may have been involved in more unsolved disappearances of other young children. Also, a large collection of photographs were discovered in the house, most of which were taken on Saddleworth Moor. This was when police decided to charge Brady and Hindley of the murder of Edward Evans as well as deploying over one hundred and fifty officers to search the moor, looking for locations that matched the photographs.

After finding multiple bodies, the investigating officers suspected Ian Brady and Myra Hindley of murdering other missing children and teenagers who had disappeared in and around Manchester over the previous years so continued searching for bodied, but with the winter setting in, it was called off in November. Each body they found was brought before a court separately and meant they were remanded into custody. They made a two minute appearance on October 28th and were again, remanded into custody.

By December 2nd 1965, both Brady and Hindley were charged with the murders of Lesley Ann Downey and Edward Evans, Brady was also charged with the murder of John Kilbride, Hindley was charged with being an accessory to the murder of John Kilbride, harbouring Brady in the knowledge that he had killed John Kilbride.

On December 6th 1965 there was a committal hearing, where the charges were brought to them. The prosecutions opening statement was ‘held in camera’ which meant that it was not open to the public and press were not allowed to obsessed the procedure, the defence asked for a similar arrangement, but it was refused. The case continued in front of three magistrates over an 11 day period during December, at the end the pair were committed for trial in Chester.

The trial began on April 19th 1966, it was held over a 14 day period in front of Justice Fenton Atkinson. The public interest in this case was ridiculous, so to protect Brady and Hindley the courtroom was fitted with security screens. The paid were each charged with three murders Evans, Downey and Kilbride, as at this pint it was considered there was sufficient evidence to implicate Hindley in Kilbride’s death.

David Smith was the main prosecution witness, but during the trial it was revealed that he had entered into an agreement with a newspaper guaranteeing him £1000; the equivalent to about £20,000 in today’s money, for the rights to his story if Brady and Hindley were convicted, something the judge deemed as ‘gross interference with the course of justice’.

Brady and Hindley both pleaded not guilty to all charged against them, they were both called to give evidence. Brady for over eight hours and Hindley for six hours. Brady did admit to hitting Evan’s with an axe, however he did not admit to killing him, his defence argued that in the pathologist report, it was stated that Evans’s death was ‘accelerated by strangulation’, under the cross examination by the prosecution, all Brady would admit was that ‘I hit Evans with the axe. If he died from axe blows, I killed him’.

Hindley denied any knowledge that the photographs of Saddleworth Moor found by the police had been taken near the graves of their victims. Hindley admitted, after the tape recording of Lesley Ann Downey was played in the open court that she was ‘brusque and cruel’ but claimed that she had only been lie that because she was scared someone would hear the screams. She also claimed that when Downey was being undressed she was downstairs and when the pornographic photos were being taken she was looking out of the window and that when she was being strangled she was running a bath.

It was May 6th after only deliberating for a little over two hours, that the jury found Brady guilty of all three murders and Hindley guilty of the murders of Downey and Evans.

In his closing remarks, the judge described the murders as a ‘truly horrible case; and recommended that both killers spend ‘a very long time’ in prison before being considered for parole. He stated that Brady was ‘wicked beyond belief’ and the he saw no reasonable possibility of reform. He said about Hindley ‘once she is removed from Brady’s influence’ she may reform. He also said throughout the trial Brady and Hindley had ‘stuck rigidly to their strategy of lying’. The death penalty for murder had been abolished whilst Brady and Hindley had been on remand, so the judge passed the only sentence that the law allowed: life imprisonment. Brady was sentenced to three concurrent life sentences and Hindley was given two concurrent life sentences as well as a seven year sentence for harbouring Brady in the knowledge that he had murdered John Kilbride. Brady was imprisoned in Durham Prison, whilst Hindley was taken to Holloway Prison.

Hindley almost immediately appealed her conviction, this was rejected. Hindley and Brady continued to communicate via letters until 1971 when Hindley ended their relationship as she had fallen in love with a prison warden Patricia Cairns. At this time, it was not uncommon for a relationship like this to happen. With Cairns help and a fellow prisoners contacts help, Maxine Croft, Hindley planned a prison escape, however it was stopped when an off-duty policeman found the impressions of prison keys and intercepted then. Cairns was sentenced to six years in prison for her part in the plans.

In 1978, Hindley wrote a 30,000 word plea for parole to the Home Secretary Merlyn Rees where she said ‘Within months he had convinced me that there was no God at all: he could have told me that the earth was flat, the moon was made of green cheese and the sun rose in the west, I would have believed him, such was his power of persuasion.’

In January 1985, Home Secretary Leon Brittan increased Myra Hindley’s tariff to 30 years before being considered for parole. At this time Hindley claimed she was a reformed Catholic.

In February 1985, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher told Leon Brittan that his proposed minimum sentences of 30 years of Hindley and 40 years for Brady were too short saying ‘I do not think that either of those prisoners should ever be released from custody. Their crime was the most hideous and cruel in modern times’.

The full extent of Ian Brady and Myra Hindley’s crimes didn’t come to light until 1985 when they Brady confessed, until this point they had both maintained their innocence. Brady allegedly confessed to Fred Harrison, a journalist that he had also been responsible for the murders of Pauline Reade and Keith Bennett, something that the police had already suspected. These newspaper reports prompted the police to reopen the case. On July 3rd 1985, a detective visited Brady but found him ‘scornful of any suggestion that he had confessed to more murders’. Police however, still decided to resume their search of Saddleworth Moor, again, using the photographs Brady and Hindley had taken to help them identify possible burial sites.

In November 1985, Brady was diagnosed as a psychopath and sent to a high security hospital, he made it clear he never wanted to be released.

In November 1986, Winnie Johnson, Keith Bennett’s mother wrote a letter to Hindley, begging to know what had happened to her sun, Hindley seemed to be ‘genuinely moved’ by it. The letter ended with ‘I am a simple woman, I work in the kitchens of Christie’s Hospital. It has taken me five weeks labour to write this letter because it is so important to me that it is understood by you for what it is, a plea for help. Please, Miss Hindley, help me.’ A few days after she received the letter, police visited Hindley in prison and although she refused to admit any involvement in the killings, she agreed to help them by looking a the photographs of the Moor and maps to try and identify the spots she had visited with Brady. She did show particular interest in certain photographs, but she said that it was impossible to be sure of the locations without visiting the moor.

The security considerations for a visit as big as she had suggested were massive, there were threats made against her if she was to visit the moors, but the Home Secretary Douglas Hurd agreed that it would be a risk worth taking. The detective later said that he felt ‘quite cynical’ about Hindley’s sudden motivation in helping the police. He believed that although the letter may have played a part, that Hindley’s real concern was knowing of Brady’s mental state, she was afraid that he would decide to co-operate with the police and wanted to make she that she was the one to gain whatever benefit there may have been in terms of public approval.

On December 16th 1986, Hindley made the first of two visits to Saddlewroth Moor to assist police. Four police cars left the prison at 4:30am, the police closed all roads onto the moor and patrolled the area with 200 officers, 40 of which were armed. Hindley and her solicitor arrived by helicopter touching down at 8:30am, she wore a donkey jacket and a balaclava, she was driven and walked around the area. She was apparently nervous of the helicopters flying overhead and said it was difficult to make a connection between her memories of the area and what she saw on that day. At 3pm she was returned to the helicopter and taken back to prison. The lead detectives were criticised by the press who described the whole thing as a ‘fiasco’, a ‘publicity stunt’ and a ‘mindless waste of money’ to which the police had to defend their decisions.

Hindley Moors

On December 19th 1986, David Smith also returned to the moor and spent about four hours helping the police pinpoint areas he though more bodies could have been buried.

The lead detective continued to visit Myra Hindley in prison with her solicitor and counsellor. It wasn’t until February 10th 1987 that Hindley made a formal confession to the police, admitting her involvement in all five murders. However this new was not made public for over a month. Something I personally don’t understand, it was such a massive case and the public were invested the whole time, so I don’t quite know why they kept it quiet for so long when the public deserved to know the truth.

The confession tape recording was over 17 hours long, the detectives described it was a ‘very well worked out performance in which I believe she told me just as much as she wanted mt to know and no more.’ He also said he was ‘struck by the fact that she was never there when the killings took place. She was in the car, over the brow of the hill, in the bathroom and even in the case of the Evans murder, in the kitchen’. The interviewing detective concluded that he felt he ‘had witnessed a great performance rather than a genuine confession’.

Police then visited Brady in prison and told him that Hindley had confessed, at first he refused to believe it. However once he was presented with some details that Hindley had provided of Pauline Reade’s abduction, Brady decided that he too was prepared to confess, but he had one condition, that he was immediately allowed to commit suicide after, a request that was impossible for the authorities to comply.

During March 1987, Hindley made her second visit to the moor. She stayed overnight in Manchester at the flat of the police chief in charge of Greater Manchester Police and she visited the moor twice. She confirmed to police that the two areas they were searching were correct, although she was unable to locate either of the graves.

In April 1987 the news of Hindley’s confession became public. Hindley was persuaded to release a public statement, in this she explained her reasons for denying her part in the murders, her religious experiences in prison, the letter from Johnson and that she saw no possibility of release. She also said David Smith took no part in the murders, except that of Edward Evans.

On July 1st 1987, after more than 100 days of searching, the police found a body buries 3 feet below the surface, only 100 yards from the place where Lesley Ann Downey had been found. When the news reached Brady that Reade’s body had been found, he made a formal confession to police. He also issued a statement to the press through his solicitor, saying that he too was prepared to help the police in their search.

Victims Body  Body Search

On July 3rd 1987, Brady was taken to the moor but seemed to lose his bearings, he blamed the changes that had happened, so the search was called off at 3pm, at this time a large crowd of press and reporters had gathered.

Ian Brady Moors

Detectives refused to allow Brady a second visit, so after a few days Brady wrote a letter to a BBC reporter Peter Gould, he gave some sketchy details of five additional murders that he claimed to have carried out. He refused to identify the victims and the police failed to discover and unsolved crimes matching the details he had supplied. Hindley told police that he knew nothing of these killings. He claimed he had killed a man in the Piccailly area of Manchester, another victim on Saddleworth Moor, two more victims in Scotland and a women whose body he had dumped in a canal at a location which he declined to identify. The police decided that there was not enough evidence to launch an official investigation.

He also told Gould that ‘Hindley has a crafted Victorian Melodrama in which she portrays herself as being forced to murder serially.’ He added that she had never been forced into any of the killings and ‘can kill, both in cold blood or in a rage’. Adding ‘we both habitually carried revolvers and went for target practice on the moors. If I were mistreating her, she could have shot me dead at any time.’

Although Brady and Hindley had confessed to the additional murders of Pauline Reade and Keith Bennett, it was decided that nothing would be gained by a further trial as both were already serving life sentences so no further punishment could be inflicted.

On August 24th 1987 the police called off their search, despite not finding Keith Bennett’s body.

Then on December 1st 1987 Brady was taken back to the moors, but once again he was unable to locate the burial site.

Also during 1987 Hindley admitted that the plea for parole she had previously made eight years earlier was ‘on the whole, a pack of lies.’

During the 1990’s, Hindley claimed that she took part in the killings because Brady had drugged her, was blackmailing her with pornographic photos he had taken of her and he had threatened to kill her younger sister Maureen.

In July 1990, after Hindley confessed to having been more involved in the murders than she first admitted, the Home Secretary David Waddington imposed a whole life sentence on her. However she was not informed of this decision until 1994 when the prison services informed all life sentence prisoners of their minimum period they must serve in prison before being considered for parole.

In 1997, the parole board ruled that Hindley was low risk and could be moved to an open prison, she rejected the idea and in early 1998 she was moved to a medium security prison. The House of Lords left open the possibility of later freedom.

Between December 1997 and March 2000, Hindley made three different appeals against her life tariff, saying she was a reformed woman and no longer a danger to society, but each was rejected by the courts.

In 1999, Brady went on hunger strike after an alleged attack by staff in the hospital, however due to the Mental Health Act 1983, he could not refuse the treatment so was force-fed.

In March 2000 he asked for a judicial review of the decision to force-feed him, this was refused. He had said ‘Myra gets the potentially fatal brain condition, whilst I have to fight to simply die. I have had enough. I want nothing, my objective is to die and release myself from this once and for all. So you see my death strike is rational and pragmatic. I’m only sorry I didn’t do it decades ago and I’m eager to leave this cesspit in a coffin.’

In 2002, Hindley’s release looked imminent after another life sentence prisoner challenged the Home Secretary’s power to set minimum terms. Plans were made by supporters for Hindley to be given a new identity, however Home Secretary David Blunkett ordered Great Manchester Police to find other charges against her so she wasn’t released.

On November 15th 2002, Hindley died, aged 60 from bronchial pneumonia caused by heart disease at West Suffolk Hospital. There was a short service at Cambridge Crematorium, where none of her family attended. It was reported that more than 20 undertakers refused to handle her cremation. Four months later, her ex partner Patricia Cairns scattered her ashes only 10 miles away from Saddleworth Moor.

On November 25th 2002, the Law Lords agreed that judges should decide how long criminals spend in prison and stripped the Home Secretary of the power to see minimum sentences.

In 2003, the police began to search the moor again for the body of Keith Bennett, they read the statements of Brady and Hindley and studied the photos they had taken. Their search was aided by sophisticated modern equipment, including a satellite used to look for evidence of soil movement. They found nothing.

At the end of 2005, Winnie Johnson, Keith Bennett’s mother received a letter from Ian Brady claiming he could take police to within 20 yards of her son’s body but the authorities wouldn’t allow it.

In 2008, Hindley’s solicitor said that she had told him ‘I ought to have been hanged, I deserve it. My crime was worse than Brady’s because I enticed the children and they would never have entered the care without my role. I have always regarded myself as worse than Brady.’

On July 1st 2009, it was reported that the police had officially given up the search for Keith Bennett, saying ‘only a major scientific breakthrough or fresh evidence would see the hint for his body restart. Detectives also reported that they would never again give Brady the attention or the thrill of leading another search on the moor.

In March 2010, donations from members of the public funded a search on the moor for his body. Still nothing was found.

In August 2012, it was claimed that Brady may have gave details of the location of Keith Bennett’s body to one of his visitors. A woman was arrested on suspicion of preventing the burial of a body without lawful excuse, but after a few month the Crown Prosecution Service said there was insufficient evidence to press charges.

Also in 2012, Brady applied to be returned to prison, reiterating his desire to starve himself to death. Then in June 2013 at a mental health tribunal Brady claimed he suffered not from paranoid schizophrenia as his doctors had maintained, but a personality disorder. His application was rejected.

On May 15th 2017, Brady died of restrictive pulmonary disease in Ashworth Hospital. On September 21st 2017, an inquest found that he had died of a natural cause and his hunger strike had not been a factor. On October 25th 2017, after a majority of councils in the UK refusing, he was finally cremated and his ashes were disposed of at sea.

Personally I think they are both evil, I don’t think we will ever know truly what happened on those fateful days, I think they both lied, they both tried to blame the other and make it seem like it wasn’t there fault. I find it so sad that Keith Bennett’s mother died, not being able to bury her son, not being able to lay him to rest. I think the game that Hindley and Brady played visiting the moors without actually assisting the police in finding his body made them even more evil. The fact Brady sent a letter to Keith’s mother saying he could find the body but the authorities wouldn’t allow it was just disgusting, how can he continue to play a sick and twisted game with someone, hadn’t he hurt their family enough without dragging it out and making it even worse for them.

I am so glad that they weren’t released and they both suffered when in prison with illness and finally death, they deserved it after the pain and torture they put those innocent children and families through.

I also find it very strange that they were both so in love, in love enough to commit these crimes together but almost instantly after being separated suddenly split up, to me that is kind of weird.

I pray that one day Keith Bennett’s body is found and he can be laid to rest in peace, now that both Hindley and Brady are dead, I’m not quite sure if that is possible, but I would like to think so.

I found this case and these people so interesting to search and look into, I have probably missed so much information, there is honestly tons for this case, I have tried to include as much as possible and all of the key dates, facts an figures. I hope you find it as interesting as I did.

Thank you for reading.

zoelouisesmithx

Mental Health Monday’s #1

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Hey guys!

If you follow my Twitter or Instagram you will have seen I put out a call for people who wanted to share their mental health journey and allow me to post it for my new mental health series. I had more people than I could imagine come forward and want to be a part of it. This series is going to be all about mental health, people’s journeys, people’s recoveries and people’s lowest points in life. I am so honoured that so many people came forward willing to share their stories with me and willing to allow me to share it with my readers. That meant a lot to me. I am creating this series to support people, empower people and show people there is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter what you’re going through. I have always been very open about my mental health journey and I will continue to do so, I believe there is still a stigma in regards to mental health and if we work together as a society we can stop that stigma and show people there is nothing to be ashamed about if you are suffering with your mental health. I am hoping to create this series where every Monday I will be posting something as a ‘Mental Health Monday’ series all to help others. I think it is important to note that everything I post in this series is completely unedited, unchanged and raw from the person who has shared it with me.

This first post was wrote by someone very close to me, she’s wrote a few different posts so I’ll be sharing them over the next few weeks. I think she is an incredible writer and I am so proud of her for sharing her journey and I am honoured she’s willing to do it on my blog.

“Imagine this. You’re in a dark, desolate land, it seems like no one is around for miles, your lonely, scared and not sure just how long you’ll survive for. You don’t know how you got here, to this melancholy place, where the darkness is evil and the day of light is no where to be seen. You’re isolated from the world, from any other energies or existence. But you’re confused, your numb. You like being alone don’t you? You like being away from it all. You like the darkness…it gives you a sense of relief. You try to convince yourself that it doesn’t get much better. You try to settle here. Think you’ll be just fine, but it’s eerie, it’s sinister and the fear of the unknown suffocates you until you can’t breath. Tears stream down you’re face, you wish you could be somewhere recognisable, somewhere homely, somewhere that you used to know. But you’re not. You want to leave, escape from this place, but you have no idea how to. You walk and walk and try to find help; no ones around, not a laugh or a giggle. Not a shout or a scream. The darkness draws in even more so, without a glimpse of light around, what are you going to do? You cry, you stare into space, you hurt just that little bit more, you fall deeper and deeper into helplessness. You know you want help, but it’s clear that there is no hope, not a soul in sight. You’ve finally done it, you’ve given up. It’s almost feels calming, like you can let go. Like your free, you don’t need to try anymore, you don’t need to battle to get back. You can just get comfortable and live the rest of your days here. You settle with that thought, before yet again you’re drowning in your own tears. You think it’s the end. It’s time to end it all. What’s the point anymore, right? Suddenly in the distance you see a small beam of light, slowly coming towards you. It’s angelic and pure, and feels warming. It’s hope. It’s a helping hand. You feel yourself running towards it, but no matter how far you run it doesn’t seem much closer. You feel like giving up. You do sometimes, but each and every day you get closer and closer towards the light, you know there’s a way out. You don’t know how long it will take to get there or what the light leads to, but you know there is a way. You know you need to get there eventually, and you will. It takes time, it takes dedication but you will do it.”

I felt inspired by her writing and I hope it also inspires other people. If you wish to take part in my new Mental Health Monday’s series by contributing your journey or an inspiring piece like I have shared today then do not hesitate to email me, even if you are not the best writer in the world but still want to be involved then please do email me and we can still work something else: zoesmith-x@hotmail.co.uk.

Thank you for reading.

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